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If
you are worried about your friend’s eating behaviors or attitudes, it is important to
express your concerns in a loving and supportive way. It is also necessary to discuss your
worries early on, rather than waiting until your friend has endured many of the damaging
physical and emotional effects of eating disorders. In a private and relaxed setting, talk
to your friend in a calm and caring way about the specific things you have seen or felt
that have caused you to worry. |
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| What to Say--Step by Step |
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| Set a time to talk. Set aside a time for a private, respectful
meeting with your friend to discuss your concerns openly and honestly in a caring,
supportive way. Make sure you will be some place away from other distractions. |
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| Communicate
your concerns. Share
your memories of specific times when you felt concerned about your friend’s eating or
exercise behaviors. Explain that you think these things |
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| Ask your
friend to explore these concerns with a counselor,
doctor, nutritionist, or other health professional who is knowledgeable about eating
issues. If you feel comfortable doing so, offer to help your friend make an appointment or
accompany your friend on their first visit. |
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| Avoid
conflicts or a battle of the wills with your friend.
If your friend refuses to acknowledge that there is a problem, or any reason for you to be
concerned, restate your feelings and the reasons for them and leave yourself open and
available as a supportive listener. |
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| Avoid
placing shame, blame, or guilt on your friend regarding their actions or attitudes. Do not use
accusatory "you" statements like, "You just need to eat." Or,
"You are acting irresponsibly." Instead, use "I" statements. For
example: "I’m concerned about you because you refuse to eat breakfast or
lunch." Or, "It makes me afraid to hear you vomiting." |
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| Avoid
giving simple solutions. For example, "If you’d just
stop, then everything would be fine!" |
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| Express
your continued support. Remind your friend that you care and want
your friend to be healthy and happy |
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After talking with
your friend, if you are still concerned with their health and safety, find a trusted adult
or medical professional to talk to. This is probably a challenging time for both of you.
It could be helpful for you, as well as your friend, to discuss your concerns and seek
assistance and support from a professional. |
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